Book Details

Dear Barbie

Here, eat, I've made you some salad.
Watercress and walnut oil, but just
a little...I know how hard it must be
to keep up your diet, and stay

looking the way you do. Your legs,
so impossibly long, bring me to
remember the first time I saw you
without your clothes. It's when I knew
I wanted to grow up.

Your insouciant optimism inspires me,
as well as how good you look even
as you pass your fortieth birthday !

You're an inspiration for me to put
on a pressed shirt in the morning
and find a tie with nice colors. Today
I want to look good, and maybe
you'll notice me.

I'll never be impolite in your presence,
and you're the only woman who could
ever make me consider quitting smoking.

You'd do well to ditch Ken, that pig,
who I've heard now wants to get
to know Skipper. And he has other
questionable qualities, too. I actually
found the guy in my daughter's room
dressed up to party in your clothes !

I'm glad you don't let it bother you
that so many women shun you
for being shallow and vain,
and the men think you're stupid.
We know better, don't we....let them talk.

I'll give you what you deserve, the benefit
of the dignity and respect that forty years
of being with the kids entitles you to.
Marry me, Barbie.